Quick On the Trigger – How to Have Good Comebacks

Jul 18, 11 | 12:05 am

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By Gaby Feile, Chief Communication Stylist

Are you one of those people who usually find the suitable answer to a verbal attack hours later? Or are you sharp as a knife and leave others speechless when it comes to hefty exchanges? Whichever type you are, I am sure you will like the following story:

A radio station aired an interview between a female broadcaster and a General who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
Read a portion of it:

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
"So, General, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

GENERAL:
"We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
"Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

GENERAL:
"I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
"Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

GENERAL:
"I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
"But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

GENERAL:
"Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you aren't one, are you?"

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Men normally laugh when reading this, women are upset and immediately think about a proper answer. Of course the lady provoked this reply and her questioning technique lacked professionalism. The general reacted very superior; however, this hit far below the belt!

What could the interviewer have said to come out of this situation unharmed?

There is more than one option, however, each of them should have one goal: to regain your personal aplomb. It is not about revenge or returning the like by hurting the other person. It is about staying calm and reacting in a way which the opponent does not expect and which makes her stop. The only acceptable reason to choose a hurtful reply is, when this is the only way to keep our integrity. Not only do we have the right but the duty to defend our dignity.

Here are some selected options that use different approaches:

• To pretend to reply and change the subject:
  "An important question indeed is how long exactly will the boys be staying in your camp?"

• To reply logically:
  "It is a fact that gunmen usually have early contact and access to weapons which makes it easy for them to commit a crime."

• To pause (most probably the most difficult reply):
  "Mhmmm."

• To re-word what he had said:
  "If by equipped you mean that I have an attractive feminine appearance, thank you very much."

• To use the plea as a fundament:
  "This is exactly why I think we need to raise awareness."

• To ignore it and move on:
  "How will you personally be engaged in the visit of this Boy Scout Group?"

• To literally fire back with the same weapon (that is what we all want to do instinctively but hardly succeed in):
  "You seem to know very well what it takes to be a prostitute. Why don‘t you share your personal experiences with the audience?"

Quick-wittedness is not inherited; we can actually practice it every day and so acquire and improve it:

Find a person in your family or at work and agree on exchanging sharp words - for fun. This can become a real competition and will bring lots of amusement into your days. Do not feel offended, however, if something seems to be unfair, take it as a challenge. What does not kill you makes you stronger!

Also, for the more serious situations, pick your preferred options (one or two) and create some standard phrases in your mind, which you can use in various situations. After a while it will come naturally and the attackers will lose interest.

Let's end with a joke for all women which is both funny and witty:

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") 
"
You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. 
"
I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." 

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. 

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."


"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

If you like, share your own stories (the good, the bad and the ugly) or your tipps here.

"I have learnt most things from reading, travelling and asking questions." (Gaby Feile)


About Gaby Feile

Since the age of 5, Gaby Feile has been fascinated by words. She read the newspapers before entering school and could write as early as this. Her personal writing style has been influenced by an international life style and an open mind. Gaby has learned to listen with her eyes and speak with her hands and has become an excellent observer and appreciated listener.  She knows that asking questions is more important and more effective than making statements.

With her company "Kommboutique", Gaby delivers feel-good communication that creates memorable moments through positive emotions. People who like her approach can book her as a copywriter, moderator, or idea producer.

Find out more on Kommboutique's website.

Read other articles from Gaby on her blog "Go-Ahead".

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