Call it the confusion of the holidays but recently, Yeoh Siew Hoon found herself at the wrong party.
I had been invited to the premiere of “King Kong”, the mega-movie about the mega-monster made by the mega-director Peter Jackson.
There was such a huge crowd when I got there and because nothing has the ability to numb me better than masses of people (yes, all those years living in Hong Kong did not cure me of crowdophobia), I automatically joined the first queue going.
Yes, all these years living in Singapore have obviously worked because in the Lion City, when you see a queue, join it; if you don’t see a queue, start one.
So there I was, behind a big, tall man – not quite as tall as Mr Kong but still big enough to block my view – who was obviously irritated by the fact that he had to show his credentials to gain entry.
“I am the New Zealand High Commissioner,” I heard him say in very clear tones.
Oh, I thought, I must be at the right party. These are just my kind of people.
I showed my tickets. I didn’t even have to show my credentials which proved to me again I was at the right party – I am more important than the diplomatic corps in this Lion City which, by the way, should be called “Mega Watt City” at this time of the year.
I swear that if you flew me to the moon in December, I’d be able to see Singapore as well as the Great Wall of China.
Having gained entry before Mr Diplomat, I was engulfed by a sea of New Zealanders who had all turned up to see the latest movie shot and produced in their home island by their fellow Kiwi, Peter (Jackson).
Never mind if the movie is about a beast who lives in Sumatra, roams in jungles filled with temples, vines and creepers that look like Cambodia, kills dinosaurs in terrain that looks like Jurassic Park and then falls to his death in New York City – this movie is being used to promote 100% Pure New Zealand.
The wines were, for sure, pure that night. Nothing like downing crispy, chilled Chardonnay before watching Naomi Watts being thrown up and down like a little China doll in the hands of the hairy beast – which girl doesn’t want a tall, dark, handsome lover like Mr Kong?
As I sipped, I watched the crowd. There was nobody I knew. I was obviously not moving in the right circles.
After the fifth glass of wine, I decided to inquire as to the whereabouts of my host. “Ah, you are at the wrong party and your movie started 10 minutes ago,” said one kind woman.
I rushed through the crowd like Jane in distress.
Thank goodness, Peter Jackson took his time to tell the story of beauty killed the beast. It was a full hour before the man of my dreams made an appearance.
Before that, there was a lot of crashing waves, freaked out zombie-like natives, stampeding dinosaurs, hydra-like monsters that behaved like vacuum cleaners, big bugs that nearly ate hero Adrien Brody’s big nose (those smart bugs knew it was the best part of his anatomy to go for) …
By the time Mr Kong showed up, I was ready to swoon. Andy Serkis (who played Gollum in Jackson’s Lord of The Rings trilogy) looks good in a hairy suit. His eyes made me melt, the way his finger curled around Naomi Watts’ body made me tremble, the manly way he beat his chest made me want to cuddle him.
This Christmas, I will dream of being swept up by a beast in hairy armour.
Happy Holidays, all.
Yeoh Siew Hoon's column, Mile High Thoughts, and more appear on “Mile High” at www.shy-connection.com
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About Yeoh Siew Hoon
SHY may be her initials, but YSH is not SHY by nature.
Siew Hoon is one of Asia’s most respected travel editors and commentators. She’s covered the travel industry for more than two decades and knows the ins and outs of the travel business, probably better than anyone else. In fact, chances are if you work in the travel business, she probably knows more about you than you yourself.
She’s lived and loved in Malaysia, Hong Kong and Singapore, where she now resides. After a 25-year career in travel trade publishing, during which she edited, launched and relaunched several publications, she decided to become a solo warrior.